Banner - Gummy Bears

Gummy bears are nothing more than a harmless care for, right? Wrong. According to many customer reviews for i specific brand of these gelatin treats, Haribo Sugar-Free Bears®, glutinous bears are a expiry sentence. In lodge to sympathize the hardships i may feel when consuming them, we at 4E have constitute the best snippets of the reviews. Nosotros hope yous find them~hands digestible~:

rumble

"It all began when I saw an Net article that pointed me to these reviews, how I rue that day. I laughed for at least an hr at the ridiculous stories; certain they were entertaining, just these and so-called "hell-bears" equally and then many reviewers refer to them couldn't alive up to the hype. So, I naturally did what whatever curious, doubtful person with a lot of free fourth dimension on his or her easily would do: I ordered a 5 lb. bag."

Upon receipt of these non-descript and innocent-looking sticky bears, I formulated my programme: 25 down the hatch every 30 minutes, until I dutifully reached 100. These things tasted skillful; quite adept, actually. I, however, knew the cloak-and-dagger nature of these bad boys based off the other reviews so I was wary. All was well later on the first, second, and third ingestion and so…

"I was out in the metropolis walking under the hot Brazilian afternoon sun, the kind of rut that bears downwards on you with actual weight. To keep from wilting, I had been downing a lot of water. My stomach's been churning the last few minutes. The bears aren't sitting well. I'g aware I'll need to detect a bath before long, but no worries.

anticipation

"I immediately started to walk similar I was trying to hold a golf brawl between both knees. I ran into the nearest store and waddled to the dorsum island all the time praying I could keep my sphincter closed long enough. About this fourth dimension I spied some other pair of doors marked employees but and pushed my way within. I saw a small bath for employees and went direct to it, all the while a stock boy is trying to stop me and tell me I can't utilise it. I stiff arm him from my football game days and say in what must accept sounded like a demonic vox from hell'I'm sick, dorsum off.'"

"To my immediate relief I got the door shut and locked just in time for Mt. St Helen's to blow."

"I quit trying to stay hydrated hours ago, everything I drink comes out the other end violently and ceases to stop."

baby crying

"I spent most ii hours, in diverse positions in, around, and above the toilet, and managed to double the normal monthly h2o and sewage bill of the shop in that same period. I also can attest to the stench. I am non a chemist by instruction but accept concluded that the Taliban-formulated carbohydrate substitute utilized in these bears somehow instantly combines and interacts at the molecular level with existing intestinal contents to create a foul odor that no human, or Lord of the Rings character, would ever accept reason to feel. I would suffice information technology to say that two months afterwards my nose pilus refuses to abound back and I am unable to discern between the odor of roses and acrid smoke rising from burning oil."

shaking no

"Thank you to Haribo I have a better understanding of what the pregnant of life is, and how to arroyo success in the face up of adversity. I would not say that I'one thousand a better homo, but I am improve prepared for life's petty games."

"I am sending a bag of these to every fellow member of Congress to evidence my deepest gratitude."

Thanks to the reliable customers of Amazon for providing the comic relief! At present you readers of 4E have a great holiday gift idea for that special someone!

Photos/Data/Gifs: amazon.com, businessinsider.com, giphy.com